Where Did The Week Go…

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This past week saw not one, but two horrible tragedies in Boston and West, Texas.  The thought of witnessing just one of those events is something not many of us can fathom.  But imagine experiencing both of them days apart.  Joe Berti did and lived to tell about it.

Berti had just finished running in the Boston Marathon on Monday for charity.  Proud for finishing the race, he immediately looked for his wife to share in his accomplishment.  Moments later, the first bomb went off.

Double Disaster Witness
Photo: AP

Luckily, his wife Amy escaped injury despite being just a few yards away from the first explosion.  After a frantic hour of searching for one another on buses, in medical tents and through missed phone calls, the couple finally reunited at their hotel.  They left Boston Tuesday morning to return to their two children and home in Austin, Texas.

On Wednesday Joe Berti went back to work.  After a daylong meeting in Dallas, he was heading home on Interstate 35.  As he neared Waco, he could see grey smoke up ahead to his left.  As this was the direction he needed to go in order to get home, he got closer and closer.  And then, just as he had experienced just two days earlier, an explosion occurred.

Curious, he pulled over to take a picture.  But then debris started falling on top of his car and a thick layer of smoke began to blanket the road in front of him.  The curiosity was over as Berti got in his car, held his breath and raced home to be with his family.

Now for a lot of us, Joe Berti would seem like a cursed man.  But he doesn’t see it that way.

“It’s a miracle,” he said in an interview with The Associated Press.  “People keep saying, ‘Don’t you feel unlucky?’  and I was actually the opposite — saying not only do I not feel unlucky, but I feel blessed that my wife could be 10 yards from the explosion and not have a scratch.”

Following his eventful week, Berti also said that he had never witnessed an explosion before.  I’d say two in one week is enough for a lifetime don’t you?

The Ryan Lochte Experience

There’s a new television show debuting this Sunday on the E! Network.  The name of it, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”  After witnessing Mr. Lochte attempt to promote his new show on a Philadelphia morning show this week, maybe the name of it should be, “What’s Going On With Ryan Lochte?”

When asked by “Good Day Philly” anchor Mike Jerrick what kind of line a woman could use on him, Lochte went silent, for an excruciatingly long time!  Perhaps it’s best he answer questions that way because the only other way he knows how to talk is to awkwardly stumble over each word.

Ryan Lochte
Photo: AP

Here are some “interesting” answers he gave in interviews promoting his show:

What he looks for in a girlfriend: “She doesn’t have to be into sports, but she has to be independent.  She can’t always be relying on me to make decisions and do things all the time.  She has to be able to take care of herself.  That’s sexy.  I need to be like, ‘Hey, she’s independent.’  That’ll get you the Lochte Edge.”

What does the “Lochte Edge” mean you ask:  “Just having it.”

His answer to cameras following him into the bathroom:  “There’s like… uh, like a mirror with a sink and then you have the bathroom.  So you have to separate those, uh, yeah.”  Eloquent Ryan, eloquent.

The best part of his “unusual” interview with the Philly show came afterwards.  Almost immediately after his satellite feed cut off with Jerrick and co-anchor Sheinelle Jones, the pair began laughing uncontrollably.  Is there anything better than watching professional news people lose it on camera (see Anderson Cooper)?

http://youtu.be/HuV1JYgyBxY

Let’s get back to Lochte for a second.  As far as I can tell, he is really good at swimming….The End.  He’s a good-looking guy, but there doesn’t appear to be any semblance of charisma, charm or the ability to form sentences.  If you watched last summer’s Olympics, any interview involving the gold medalist came off as something resembling Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High mixed with any 13-year-old boy in America.

Having seen clips of his show, it appears to fall nicely in-line with what I like to call “Trainwreck television.”  You know, shows like Honey Boo Boo, Moonshiners and any of the Real Housewives incarnations.  All I know is the 2016 Olympics can’t come soon enough for this guy.  Jerrick said it best following the Lochte interview.  “Seriously, how are they going to put together 13 weeks of programming.”  Great question Mike, great question.

High school baseball game ends in 65-0 score

Yes, you read that correctly.  The Hornets of Licking Heights (Really?) High School in Pataskala, Ohio put up nine touchdowns and a safety in an April 5 game against Harvest Prep.  If that wasn’t mind-boggling enough, the Hornets managed to do it in just three innings.

Baseball
Photo: ThinkStock

Licking Heights scored 16 runs in the first, 18 in the second and 31 in the third and they scored all those runs off 48 hits, 13 walks and 11 hit batters.  To quote Ron Burgundy, “That escalated quickly.  I mean that really got out of hand.”

But the most ridiculous part about this game was that it wasn’t called due to the lop-sidded score, but rather darkness.  According to the Ohio High School Athletic Association, a mercy rule goes into affect if a team has a 10-run lead, but only if it’s after five innings.  Despite lasting only three innings, the game took more than three hours.

“It’s the most awkward I’ve ever felt in 34 years of coaching, ” said coach of the Hornets Jeff Boyer.  “I didn’t know what to feel.  I wasn’t happy.  I felt bad for their kids and didn’t know what to tell our kids.”

Unfortunately, the two teams will meet again on Monday.  Hopefully the Athletic Association has implemented a 20-run mercy rule so that this game doesn’t come anywhere close to three hours.

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