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Ryan Beltram

Ryan Beltram

Passionate about movies, sports and writing, Ryan hails from Bend but lives in Springfield now. He earned his college degree in journalism from the University of Oregon and hopes to one day write a novel. He also enjoys sunsets and long walks on the beach.
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Where Did The Week Go… The Return of the Woolly Mammoth

Scientists Trying to Bring Woolly Mammoth Back to Life

Scientists believe they may be on the verge of resurrecting one of history’s most mythical creatures.

The woolly mammoth, which thrived during the Ice Age 4,000 years ago, became extinct long ago. But according to Harvard scientists, the animal might be making a comeback.

“Our aim is to produce a hybrid elephant-mammoth embryo,” said Professor George Church. “Actually, it would be more like an elephant with a number of mammoth traits. We’re not there yet, but it could happen in a couple of years.”

Church and his team will be presenting their research at the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) annual meeting in Boston.

This never ends well for the humans. | (Yahoo!)

My question regarding this news is, have these Harvard scientists seen Jurassic Park? Or how about Deep Blue Sea to a lesser extent? Spoiler alert, it doesn’t end well for the humans in those movies. Creating an elephant-mammoth hybrid using embryos sounds cool, but playing god in regards to animals just sounds like a bad idea.

To quote the great Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park, “This isn’t some species that was obliterated by deforestation, or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs had their shot, and nature selected them for extinction.”

Church’s reasoning behind bringing the creature back to life is related to global warming. In an article published in the Scientific American in 2013, Church wrote:

“Mammoths could keep the region colder by: (a) eating dead grass, thus enabling the sun to reach spring grass, whose deep roots prevent erosion; (b) increasing reflected light by felling trees, which absorb sunlight; and © punching through insulating snow so that freezing air penetrates the soil. Poachers seem far less likely to target Arctic mammoths than African elephants.”

Don’t get me wrong, it would be cool to see a woolly mammoth, but that might be an animal best left alone. How about we resurrect something smaller first and see how that goes?

 

Seth Rogen Trying Really Hard to Get Trump Out of Office

Seth Rogen really doesn’t like President Trump (Get in line) and he’s found a creative and direct way of attempting to remove him from office.

The comedian and actor discovered that Donald Trump Jr. is following him on Twitter. So he decided to send junior a series of direct messages.

“Hey man! It’s Seth. Your father is trying to discredit our media, collude with Russia, and destroy the environment. It would be super cool of you to be like, ‘yo, dad, why don’t you stop all this and go back to being just a guy on TV.’ The majority of the world would be pretty psyched. Thanks!!!”

By any means necessary to get Trump out of office, right! | (NBC/Getty)

Attached to the message was a screenshot of the president’s joke of a press conference on Thursday. But Rogen wasn’t done there. Several hours later he sent another message:

“Hey man. I don’t mean to come across as a weirdo or anything,” Rogen wrote. “I just realized I could message you so I thought I would. So, maybe, ask your dad to investigate if his campaign was in talks with Russia leading up to the election? Or maybe just have someone investigate Flynn’s ties to Russia? Or maybe just ask your dad to go back to hosting game shows? I bet he would prefer that. He doesn’t seem to like this. Thanks dude! Peace!!”

I love how passive aggressive Rogen is. He’s really politely telling junior that his dad is not good at his job, the most important job in the country, and he just thinks Trump would be happier not doing it. I think most would agree with that.

Rogen’s movie, The Interview, was supposedly the major factor behind North Korea hacking Sony Pictures. That was incredible and unbelievable. Rogen being involved in the downfall of Trump’s presidency would be something else entirely. But if it takes a comedian whose humor usually involves weed and dick jokes to bring down this administration, sign me up.

 

Border Patrol Discovers Drug-Slinging Catapult

Drug smugglers seem to be coming up with more and more creative ways to get drugs into the U.S. But this latest story feels like the smugglers have literally thought of everything and are now resorting to Medieval tactics.

Border Patrol agents in Arizona discovered a catapult attached to the top of a border fence near the Douglas Port of Entry in Arizona. The catapult was used to launch marijuana into America from Mexico.

The device appeared to be constructed of square tubing and a heavy spring welded together with rope tied around it. The device was powerful enough to sling two bundles of weed — weighing more than 40 pounds — into the U.S.

Agents discovered the catapult last week after they approached several people near the fence. The CBP alerted Mexican authorities, who seized the catapult, and CBP agents later dismantled it.

This really does feel like a last-resort kind of idea. Drugs in food, drugs inside the paneling of cars or drugs literally in a person have all been done. So let’s just fling it in the air over a fence and hope no one notices.

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