Where Did The Week Go
‘Chewbacca Mom’ Keeps Cashing In
The Internet works in mysterious ways. How do I know this? Because last month, Candace Payne made a video of herself in her car wearing an electronic Chewbacca mask and now her whole life has changed.
After more than 6 million views of her 4-minute video, the Texas woman has appeared on The Late Late Show with James Corden as both a guest and a Karaoke Carpool participant, attended the 2016 CMT Music Awards, threw out the ceremonial first pitch during a Tampa Bay Rays baseball game and in a stunning development, received full scholarships for her entire family to attend Florida’s Southeastern University.
But just when it appeared her 15 minutes were up, Hasbro unveiled her very own Star Wars action figure. The body of the toy is of Chewbacca but the face is Payne’s in all its jubilant glory. The toy features 13 catchphrases including “I am such a happy Chewbacca” and “That’s not me making that noise, it’s the mask.”
All of this for a woman who simply wore a Wookiee mask in her car outside of a Kohl’s store and filmed it. But here’s the thing, after finally watching the video myself, you can’t help but feel happy and excited for a woman “enjoying the simple things in life” as she put it.
After putting on the mask, she looked and sounded like her 8-year-old self on Christmas morning. The video is both pointless and delightful and that’s why the Internet is the way it is.
For whatever reason, certain things are just plucked out of the Internet ether and become a “thing” for a short amount of time. Payne is just a mom from Texas who became a part of that club and now her kids have full rides to college. Pretty incredible.
Soccer Player Kicked Out of Game for Farting
I have a confession to make: I’ve been farting a lot lately. Before judging me, know that it’s a result of a protein-rich diet I’ve kept since the beginning of the year in an attempt to build more muscle. I feel great, but an unfortunate side effect is flatulence.
It’s also been a bit of a problem at work. I’m on my feet most of the day, but the occasional “crop-dusting,” “drive-by” or whatever you want to call it has occurred. Sorry co-workers who will never read this. But the good news is I haven’t let the problem affect my work unlike a soccer player this week.
Adam Lindin Ljungkvist was given a red card and kicked out of a game for “unsportsmanlike behavior” when he farted loud enough for the referee to hear him, according to goal.com.
“I needed to fart, I had a bad stomach,” said Ljungkvist. “So I just farted. Then I received a yellow card and then a red. I was shocked, it’s the strangest thing I have ever experienced on a football field.”
The player has no idea why he was thrown out of the game, but he has a theory that’s a bit of a stretch.
“Maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw it at him, but I did not,” he said.
The referee, Dany Kako, told the media that Ljungkvist’s farting was “deliberate provocation.” Whatever that means.
Can a person throw a fart? Maybe if the wind picks up at just the right moment. But still, for a ref to kick a player out of a game for breaking wind just plain stinks!
Yet another reason why soccer is lame. If football had a rule where a player was ejected for passing gas or generally being unsanitary, half the players would be gone by halftime. Just ask any center.
Man Billed $150 After Saving Family from Car Crash
In September 2015, Derrick Deanda smashed the window of a van in Elk Grove, California and pulled a man and his three children out who were trapped inside. While doing so, he suffered a small cut on his hand and had paramedics look at it. Nearly a year later, he has been charged $150 for that visit with paramedics.
He posted the bill on his Facebook page saying, “I asked the paramedics for a bottle of water to clean my hand off because I had a small scrape on my hand they ask me questions and they consider that an assessment on me.”
Deputy Chief Mike McLaughlin with Cosumnes Community Services District told CBS that it is standard procedure to billy anyone who gets an assessment by paramedics.
“We’re obligated to provide the same level of service, the same billing the same everything, for every patient we encounter,” he said.
The district began implementing the assessment fee two years ago, but McLaughlin is confident the fee will be waived.
“There is a mechanism for appealing this, a mechanism for making this right. Our desire is to make it right,” he said.
Yeah, that mechanism is probably court appearances and hours of waisted time. $150 for a bottle of water. And here I thought airport water was expensive.