family

Boarder Hit by Car Takes First Steps

SPRINGFIELD, Ore. — The family of a skateboarder hit by a car this week in Springfield is now talking about the ordeal.

The family says it’s been a tough few days but Cody Nute did take his first steps Thursday.

After undergoing brain surgery Cody’s family says he has a long road to recovery but it could’ve been a lot worse.

Police lights lined the block of 15th and Q Street just moments after a car hit Dwayne Nute’s son.

“It was just an emotional disaster really,” said Dwayne Nute.

Dwayne says his 17-year-old son Cody was skateboarding when he was hit by a car Tuesday night.

This is one of several pedestrian versus car accidents in the past few weeks, raising concerns over pedestrian safety and the rules of the road.

Springfield Police say a call came in of two 17-year-olds hit at the corner of 15th and Q Street and that they were not on the sidewalk.

Now Cody is confined to a hospital bed — with a broken back, pelvis, leg and multiple other injuries.

“I was like standing at his bed just waiting for him to wake up, just holding his hand waiting for him to wake up,” said Kari Nute, Cody’s sister.

“He has short term memory loss. Every time he wakes up we have to remind him what happened. That’s kind of a bummer it’s like watching him get hit all over again,” said Dwayne Nute.

While Cody remains in the intensive care unit — his dad says he is able to speak and he took his first steps Thursday.

“For him to want to do it and get up and actually do it on his own you know it’s got to be a positive note,” said Dwayne.

But it’s still a long road to recovery for Cody and the Nute family.

Springfield Police say the driver is not facing any charges at this point but the investigation is ongoing.

Taking Advantage of Free Comic Book Day

FREE COMICSSPRINGFIELD, Ore. — A shop in Springfield really got into national Free Comic Book Day Saturday, holding an all-day event for fans.

More than 80 people  lined up outside DragonVine on Pioneer Parkway Friday morning. The store gave away free comic books, prizes, and pizza. Based on last year’s turnout, they expected about 1,500 people to stop by throughout the day.

We talked to the first two people in line, who said they got there more than an hour before the shop opened.

“I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter and at the same time I just wanted to learn a little bit more about comic books with her,” says Mary Miller.

Mary and her daughter Kayla were excited to get some free comic books. They were especially excited to walk away with an issue of Power Rangers.

Two well-known comic book artists were also at shop. Mark and Laura Allred have worked on many titles, including the Silver Surfer and Batman 66. They were there, signing comic books for fans.

551: A Grandfather’s Gift

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ruiz
Author Daniel Ruiz with his grandfather’s newly refurbished shotgun

There are memories buried in the chipped and faded veneer of my grandfather’s shotgun, and there are stories in it that I can only invent, not discover buried in the slowly growing rust and caked oil of the barrel. It is a Springfield-Savage model 511 shotgun, at least twice my age. Like many other facts about the gun, its age is guesswork. From a cursory online search, I learned only that the Springfield-Savage name was removed from that model in 1948.

The gun must be at least 65; my grandfather would be 92 this year. I’d like to think that he acquired it at the age of 30, like I did. It is a comfort that our lives be tied together by more than bloodline and fading childhood memories. It is a comfort to be able to hold something that I knew my grandfather held.

My grandfather never told me much about the gun. After his hospitalization and then death, it remained in a torn, slightly oily leather case in the back of my father’s closet. The gun was left to me, but I was not told that until much later. My grandfather was a fisherman, raising his family in the Florida Panhandle, living a life that is quite opposite of what I have lived. I am a city-slicker, more or less, an academic and the son of an academic, but my present-day life is the direct result of 4 am wake-ups on the water and taking tourists to catch marlin 50 years in the past.

My grandfather took me fishing, and always promised that he would take me shooting when I got older. I got older, but diabetes kept my grandfather bed-ridden for the last years of his life; consequently, I learned how to shoot in rather poor fashion in haphazard manners. The stigma of an urban Mexican-American teenager becoming proficient in firearms in the 1990s was too much for my parents. My grandfather was the quintessential American sportsman in many ways, and he wanted me to learn of that pleasure, but I never did.

Every summer and spring break for the past 4 years, I have come to Oregon to slowly undo this, and thanks to my friend Dante “The Backwoods Blaxican” Zuniga-West, I am slightly less a creature of only urban comforts. I visited him for break yet again, but this time, it was something more. My father reminded me of the shotgun, idling away in his closet, and perhaps it was the newly found batch of pictures of my grandfather that stirred an intense feeling to hold something of these memories, to embrace metal and smell gunpowder. I took the shotgun, drove up from Los Angeles, stopped by Bi-Mart with a list from “Backwoods,” and headed to his home. There, I sanded down the stock, re-varnished and polished my grandfather’s gun. I took a toothbrush and WD40 to every millimeter of metal that I could. I oiled the break and repeated the motion a hundred times to clear at least two decades of neglect from the gun.

It is not the prettiest shotgun, but it is the most beautiful gun that I have ever seen. There are scratch marks from rust removal, the varnishing could have been a bit richer and the metal could be bluer, but it is mine. It kicks like a mule, but it shoots clean and accurately. It smells like sweet burning wood after it fires. When I felt the barrels, warm with use, I though of how long those barrels had been cold, and I would like to think that my grandfather is quite pleased with this.

DSC_0339
Ruiz’s shotgun, post make-over.

What I feel, now that I have cleaned and fired my grandfather’s gun isn’t about the joy of owning one’s first firearm. It isn’t about participating in an activity that my grandfather enjoyed or the thought of taking the gun deeper into the field to test myself with it against something that has more survival instinct than a shooting clay. It is about the thought that this gun is the physical memory of a man, a good man who never got to teach me how to shoot it. That man will never take grouse, duck, or pheasant with that gun. We will never sit down and clean it together. But I will. He can never be the one to teach me how to shoot it, but maybe being taught is the best that I can manage, so that I can be the man who teaches my own grandchildren how to use it.

A guest article By Daniel Ruiz.

A Little Advice

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by Marc Zola for EDN

Welcome to the first of the Eugene Daily News’ relationship advice column. As a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in working with couples, I’ve treated a wide variety of relationship issues, yet all of them seem to have one thing in common: Often the way couples try to solve problems IS the problem.My role as a couples therapist, is to help people see how even a small change in the way each partner interacts with one another can result in a significant improvement in relational satisfaction. As therapists focused on relationships, my colleagues and I at Eugene Therapy are known for our direct, straight forward approach to treatment. Most of us trained at the University of Oregon’s Couples & Family Therapy program and are in practice in the community. While an advice column isn’t therapy, we still plan to respond to your most pressing email/text/mail relationship questions in a similar ‘call it like we see it’ fashion.
From dating to living together to marriage, to questions about managing kids, chores and the in-laws, please send in your questions to [email protected] and we’ll do our best not to disappoint!

Q: Whenever I bring up marriage, my boyfriend brings up his recently divorced parents. We’ve been dating four years, and I feel it’s time to take the next step, but he’s still hesitant to even discuss it. Any advice?

MZ: Sounds like you’re saying your boyfriend has cold feet. This feels like a real dilemma for you, but it’s also an opportunity. Let’s start with thinking about what NOT to do. You may be thinking about making demands, ultimatums or even playing ‘hard to get’. Think again. These attempts are likely to backfire. If you walked into a restaurant and the waiter demanded you chose a certain dish, the best the waiter could hope for is for you to acquiesce out of fear (but you’d likely never return to that restaurant). Similarly, ultimatums don’t work. They are recipes for resentment.

Given your partner’s experience of living through the divorce of his parents, his hesitation is completely reasonable. One might argue it’s actually a good sign that shows he IS thinking about you in a serious way but is realistic about the fact that many marriages do end in divorce.

Want to show him what a great prospect you really are? Then try validation. Not only with words, (for example, “It makes sense that you are thinking about your parents. Long term commitments can be really scary!”) but also with deeds. In some way he is saying to you, ‘I need space… I need time.’ The supportive and loving response is to grant it to him. Not as a gift or as giving in, but as both a demonstration of understanding and an opportunity for you to work on building your own individual life. Like they say on airplanes, put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others around you. Similarly, take time to engage in activities outside the relationship. Exercise, dinners/coffee with friends, start a book club with your girlfriends, take a class. Do things for yourself that subtly say:

1) ‘I matter and I choose me’ and

(2) ‘By the way, if you were smart, you’d choose me too :)’

Look, you can’t ultimately make people choose who or what you’d like them to choose. It may sound like a cliche`, but your best bet is to accept where he’s at right now, continue with your relationship as is, while you work on enhancing your own individual life. There’s a good chance he’d be more attracted to spending a lifetime with the ‘accepting, interested, engaged you’ rather than the ‘demanding, invalidating you’.

There is no guarantee this will work. But there is a guarantee that the alternative (demands, ultimatums) will not. But even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll end up with a better version of yourself!

Q: My partner and I have been seeing each other for 10 years. We have two great kids but we never seem to go on dates, or when we do, we end up talking about paying bills or other household chores.

MZ: This is a common problem. You and your partner started your lives together as romantic partners, but somehow along the way you may have turned into what seems more like business partners. This makes perfect sense. After all, so much of your time is spent managing kids, carpools and household chores let alone bills.

The secret to managing this is to agree to limit family business conversations to a specific day(s) of the week. For example, why not decide to have a once weekly partners-only meeting where say from 8 to 8:30 PM on Monday evenings, you discuss family business issues (bills, insurance, who’s going to take out the recycling).

The two of you then need to agree that barring a ‘911’ situation (and by 911 I mean, foreclosure, very sick kid, you get the drift) you agree to NOT discuss family business issues other than the agreed upon day/time. This may sound rigid, but if you really think about it, this is exactly what the two of you did when you first started dating. You discussed how you feel about one another, what your goals, hopes and dreams are, what to have for dinner, when to have sex, etc. The way to return to those days of yore is to schedule dates and even mini-dates (like a 15 minute walk around the block) with your partner that will focus on one another and avoid all conversations about the laundry, diapers and changing the furnace filter.

Couples often find that when they set limits on family business discussions they inevitably find more time for one another.

  • Marc Zola, LMFT & LPC – Eugene Therapy
    Marc Zola, LMFT & LPC is a psychotherapist specializing in relationship issues and is the founder of Eugene Therapy

    A graduate of the University of Oregon’s Couples & Family, Marc is also a National Certified Counselor and a Clinical Member of the American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists. Prior to starting Eugene Therapy, Marc was a psychotherapist for PeaceHealth & Sacred Heart Medical Center.

    Marc specializes in treating anxiety, depression and relationship issues. He has a knack for identifying problematic patterns of thought and behavior that tend to keep clients stuck and considers himself a “directive” therapist who readily provides honest feedback to clients.

    Marc shares his expertise with students as an adjunct instructor for the University of Oregon’s Couples & Family Therapy program. He is a popular presenter and a published author on the topic of best practices for treating the most challenging relationship issues. Marc also offers clinical supervision to LPC and LMFT interns and is on the clinical supervision registry for the State of Oregon.

    Eugene Therapy, is a private group practice providing mental wellness treatment for individuals, couples and families. Eugene Therapy LLC is located at 401 East 10th Avenue, Suite 330, Eugene OR 97401. 541-868-2004. Online at www.EugeneTherapy.com

    Continue reading →

Time to get your Hands Dirty

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By Kelly Asay
Eugene Daily News

The holidays are the perfect time to exercise your inner Martha Stewart/Christopher Lowell, and save a little green. Taking a queue from one of our favorite (non-local) sites we’ve done some digging and, through the miracle of YouTube, we’ve put together a batch of tutorials to get you into the Christmas spirit; from a simple wreath to making your own Christmas stocking, if you aren’t giving something handmade this year, well, can’t say we didn’t try.
 
 

First up: How to Make Paper Snowflakes.

While this may seem like a flashback to grade school, nothing beats an intricate bit of scissor and paper and string hanging on a tree or window to make a little memory. Try making these with a significant other over a nice bottle of wine or perhaps a scotch. More conventionally you can try it with the kids over some steaming hot chocolate.

 
 

Next: How to Make a Christmas Cracker

No, not some racial joke or baking tip, these crackers refer to the goodie and confetti filled kind – a handheld pinata if you will. Really feeling your oats? Make the candies, crowns and keepsakes that go inside. We’ll be visiting the local import store for ours; The inner Martha will go straight to the hoosegow if she tries to convince me to start with the candy dipping.

 
 

Door number three: How to Make Papercut Christmas Cards

That would be the bloodless kind. Most of us love to doodle, but much like most of the “talent” auditioning for American Idol, loving it doesn’t make us good at it. For those without the ability to draw, paint or otherwise amaze with our prowess in the manual arts, fear not, you aren’t doomed to rubber stamping – not that there’s anything wrong with that.
http://youtu.be/FLp6B1qSlN0
 
 

How to number four: How to Make 3 Easy Paper Decorations

The good news about these is they can be crafted by the infirmed as well as the young child, whichever way you’re feeling at the time. The better news is, if you end up hating them, they make a pretty good yule log fire starters. Unless you are committed to the full commercially produced tree, ornament, lighting and decorating path, handmade decorations can lend a positive personal touch to your room, apartment, home, or Occupy tent.
http://youtu.be/7ZTuHP1Wtmw
 
 

Lets step it up: How to Make Easy “No Sew” Fabric Christmas Ornaments

You’ve gotta know you like handmade before you start these. They don’t burn clean, they stay around longer than an incumbent congressman and they have an odd ability to make you melancholy for a simpler time. My favorites are the ones my grandmothers made, you’ll want to pass yours along too, whether they like it or not. They’ll thank you eventually.

 
 

Project six: How To Make Christmas Stockings

I’m partial to fishnet because you can see what’s in them, unfortunately the nuts are always falling out. Face it, nothing tells a kid, or spouse that you’re looking forward to Christmas eve like a freshly minted Chinese made stocking from Target right? While this isn’t exactly cutting out snowflakes, it’s surprisingly easy to do and when it’s done it will put a smile on the recipients face, even if that face is yours.
http://youtu.be/rsq6fAtgr1w
 
 

Lucky number seven: How to Make a Christmas Wreath

This tutorial is the reason you haven’t cut back the neighbors fir tree that grows six feet over your side of the fence; you’ve been saving those fragrant green boughs for a wreath. Break out the chainsaw-pruners or what have you, and prepare to be amazed: you’ll be creating your own traditional Christmas wreath. That is once you’re done sharing the holiday spirit with your neighbor.

 
 

And our final project: The Parcel Style Gift Wrap.

It’s green, it’s clever, and it looks way better than the local fishwrapper does. Now this video was for Valentines day, but hey, that’s not even a real holiday. With all the handcrafted snowflakes, ornaments, stockings, wreaths and cards you’ve created, you can’t put gifts under the tree wrapped up in the latest fashionable Costco bundled paper – you save that for the Santa gifts. Who knows, you may inspire a budding UPS driver with your efforts.
http://youtu.be/xfjG6GSWU6M
 In all seriousness, you don’t make memories by shopping, you make them by doing, by giving, by participating. Even the simplest handmade creation can have a profound effect. Enjoy, I’ve got to get started dipping the chocolates…